Wondering What a Successful College Essay Looks Like?
You’re not alone. One of the most common questions students ask is:
“Can I see an essay that actually worked?”
Whether you’re applying to the Ivies, UC schools, or your local state university, your essay is your chance to show who you are beyond the numbers. Below are real college essay examples—with expert commentary—to help you understand what works and why.
Example #1: The Ice Cream Truck Turnaround
Accepted to: USC, UC Berkeley
“At 16, I didn’t plan to run an ice cream truck. But when the owner vanished halfway through summer, I had two choices: let it fail—or turn it around…”
Why It Worked:
- ● Strong hook: A surprising scenario grabs attention immediately
- ● Clear growth: Highlights problem-solving and leadership
- Voice + vulnerability: It sounds like a real teenager, not a résumé
What You Can Learn:
Your “wow” factor doesn’t need to be a global nonprofit. Sometimes, managing a sticky, real-life situation (like melted popsicles and angry customers) shows just as much maturity and grit.
Example #2: Washing Dishes with Abuela
Accepted to: UCLA, Boston University, University of Michigan
“I first learned the difference between silence and peace scrubbing beans off a white plate beside my grandmother…”
Why It Worked:
- ● Emotionally resonant: Shows personal identity and quiet strength
- ● Sensory details: You feel the moment, which makes it memorable
- ● Theme clarity: Ties together cultural background and future aspirations
What You Can Learn:
You don’t need dramatic plot twists. Reflective essays about ordinary moments—if written with care and insight—can be incredibly powerful.
Example #3: The Calendar Obsession
Accepted to: University of Chicago, Northwestern
“By 6th grade, I was designing my own calendars—hand-drawn layouts, color-coded goals, and themes ranging from ‘Productivity’ to ‘Procrastination.’”
Why It Worked:
- ● Quirky but grounded in passion
- ● Shows intellectual curiosity and self-awareness
- ● Genuinely enthusiastic without being exaggerated
What You Can Learn:
Essays that show how you think are just as valuable as those that show what you’ve overcome.
Example #4: The Sandwich Debate
Accepted to: Princeton, Brown
“Is a hot dog a sandwich? What began as a cafeteria argument turned into a six-month research project…”
Why It Worked:
- ● Displays curiosity and playfulness
- ● Demonstrates research and critical thinking
- ● Uses humor without sacrificing substance
What You Can Learn:
Don’t be afraid to show off your weird academic obsessions—if they’re authentic, they’re engaging.
What Makes a College Essay Work?
| Trait | Why It Matters |
| Authentic Voice | Sounds like a real person, not a PR statement |
| Personal Growth | Shows emotional or intellectual development |
| Narrative Arc | Something happens—a beginning, middle, and end |
| Thematic Clarity | The story points to values, motivation, or personality |
Common Mistakes These Essays Avoided
- ● Treating the essay like a list of achievements
- ● Relying on trauma as a shortcut to depth
- ● Writing about what they think admissions wants to hear
“Reddit tore my first draft apart. It sounded like it was written by a résumé builder, not a person.” — r/ApplyingToCollege user
Want to See More Real Essays?
These examples are publicly available and handpicked for their authenticity and insight:
Johns Hopkins – Essays That Worked
Read the CollectionGreat for understanding structure and admissions insight.
College Essay Guy – 27 Outstanding Examples
Explore the BlogA diverse mix of topics and voices—ideal for brainstorming.
Teen Vogue – Papa John’s Pizza Essay to Yale
Read the Story
Proof that a simple story told well can stand out.
“Let these inspire you—not intimidate you. The best essay isn’t the most dramatic—it’s the one that sounds like you.”
What If I Don’t Have a Struggle Story?
That’s not a weakness—it’s a strength.
Some of the most compelling essays come from students who:
- ● Explore an academic curiosity or quirky hobby
- ● Reflect on a simple moment with unusual depth
- ● Use humor, insight, or observation to reveal how they think
You don’t need to have suffered to write a powerful essay. You just need to be real—and intentional.
Want Help Writing Yours?
If you’re still figuring out what story to tell—or how to tell it—I offer 1:1 essay brainstorm sessions where we work together to:
- ● Identify your strongest topic (even if you think you don’t have one)
- ● Connect your personal story to what colleges actually care about
- ● Outline a structure that shows growth, voice, and clarity
No pressure. Just a thoughtful, honest session to help you move forward with confidence.
